A DAY BEFORE LONG NIGHTS - RECOVERY || PART 9

I was finally discharged from the hospital and was eager to go to my home and sleep in my bed. I was very happy. I reached my home and laid down. I was very weak. I was strictly allowed to have only semi solid diet. It meant eating only something which is thick, viscous like porridge. It was fed by a spoon to me. I was not able to hold the spoon and eat it myself. It went like this for a few days but soon I started eating myself. Many a times in my home I would desperately want to eat Indian bread. Even without eating it, I could feel the taste of it in my mouth. I would wait for the day when I will be eating through my mouth directly. Once I decided to chew the same semi solid food. It has been long since I chewed anything. Although it was semi solid, I still chewed it. It was a different feeling this time. I don't know but I felt like I am not chewing right. I felt my teeth grinding over each other, colliding which I have never felt before while eating. I was chewing right, it was just I was chewing after a long time. I ate a lot of Kiwi those days which is popularly called the super food. It helped me a lot during the recovery phase.

All my hospital days and all my recovery phase I would hear the same words again and again from many different people. GB Syndrome has no medicine, the only medicine is you. You can be treated by your will power only. For my question of when will I be alright, they would say depends on you. Be strong and get your will power strong. I had a strong will power. I knew I will make it very fast but still when your body is recovering by itself, it does so very slowly. Very very slowly. But the good thing in this is, you cannot miss the progress. Even the slightest of progress can be felt because it has been days as you were like this but now look, you can speak this letter correctly. I can say will power can be the powerhouse of your dreams and recovery from anything physically or mentally. You just need to channelise it in correct way.

After three days of my coming home, my sister called two physiotherapists so that I can be improved at a faster rate and nothing is missed in my recovery. The first physiotherapist came at my home soon after we called him. He was a fat but tall man with very short hair and wore very loose shirt. He resembled the famous Bermudian guy who caught the catch while playing against India. He knew I had acquired GB Syndrome as my sister told him on the phone and he had done his homework. He held my hand and asked me to apply force in the opposite direction.  He did the same with my legs. He said, there is no limb movement and facial movements are also very less. It will take him about two years if not sent to therapy and facial movements won't improve at home. His facial movements might remain like this only if he is not sent to therapy. Believe me my facial movements were not at all normal. My one eyelid was drooped. I could not raise my eyebrows and move my lips. He was very pessimistic. Everything he said was to discourage me. He will be like this for more than an year is the sentence that exited from his mouth, entered my ears but never exited from there. My family got infuriated by his attitude. I declined to visit other physiotherapists as I had my cut of discouragement of for this year.

Eating and exercising were the only two jobs I had. The physiotherapist in the hospital had advised me a few exercises. There were about 6 or 7 of them but the most difficult one was raising my hand in front of me. It was really difficult. I mean really. Raising my hand to 90 degrees took me almost four days with a huge amount of pain every time and holding them there at that position was simply out of the question. You can put your hand straight and reach out to pick up anything lying on that coffee table. I could not. It was very hard for me to straighten my hand. It took me almost one month just to pick up something which is at a hand's reach from me. Every exercise was painful. After 15 days of my discharge, I had an epiphany. I thought about the exercises I am doing. Are they good enough? Will they make me what I was before? Why did nothing hurt when I was normal in my entire life? I thought, my daily routine and all the work I did daily constitutes the working of every muscle. Each and everyone. This is the only reason why all my muscles were fit because it has been active every day. I had been doing these exercise for 15 days now but everything hurts in the same way with the same intensity as it did on the first day. This made me realize that these exercises are not enough. These won't take me anywhere near where I want to be as fast as I can. I decided to stop these exercises and I knew it was a big move. A very big risk. But I did. I decided that night that from the next day onwards I will do everything that I did when I was alright. I will bathe in the same way. I will watch television. I will sit in all the rooms. I won't lie down on one bed and think that three time exercise is enough for me. I will do everything in a normal way.

The next day I woke up and started walking to another room. I picked up something from the coffee table out of my reach which really hurt a lot. Everything was hurting, but I knew this is the only way to be what I was in the short time. Bathing was the most hurtful activity of the day. It would take me 40-60 minutes for bathing. But in the end, I can proudly say, everything worked out like a charm. I was progressing at a very high rate. On 15th September, 2017 the day came when my doctor said, "Now you can eat normally". Any precautions? "No" Can I eat fast food and all that? "Yes, yes nothing to worry, just don't eat too much at once." It was hard to express and is still now how you feel when your hear that you can eat anything as it is from your mouth after two months. The first thing I ate was Dhokla. It was kind of my long desire.  I was still not adjusted to chewing, but it worked out perfect. My Trapezius muscle was too weak. My muscles were not able to take the load of my hands. Whenever I used to stand, all my shoulder part would hurt. I was not able to walk a distance because of my muscles. They were all too weak and it takes really long time for everything to be what you were. It doesn't happen in a blink of an eye. But this was nothing, I could see every muscle improving. I could feel it. I used to walk on the road with that pain in my muscles. But I knew I am improving. Each and every night I would sleep by saying the sentence, "Yesterday was good, today was better, tomorrow will be best". Everyone was busy with their lives while I was busy making myself, myself. But if you remember, I am still seeing everything double and the case of my eyes will make this post far longer. My eyes tricked me in the process and it was horrific. It would be very unfair not to talk about my eyes in this road to recovery. So I will. Stay Tuned!!