A DAY BEFORE LONG NIGHTS - RECOVERY || PART 9 Skip to main content

A DAY BEFORE LONG NIGHTS - RECOVERY || PART 9


I was finally discharged from the hospital and was eager to go to my home and sleep in my bed. I was very happy. I reached my home and laid down. I was very weak. I was strictly allowed to have only semi solid diet. It meant eating only something which is thick, viscous like porridge. It was fed by a spoon to me. I was not able to hold the spoon and eat it myself. It went like this for a few days but soon I started eating myself. Many a times in my home I would desperately want to eat Indian bread. Even without eating it, I could feel the taste of it in my mouth. I would wait for the day when I will be eating through my mouth directly. Once I decided to chew the same semi solid food. It has been long since I chewed anything. Although it was semi solid, I still chewed it. It was a different feeling this time. I don't know but I felt like I am not chewing right. I felt my teeth grinding over each other, colliding which I have never felt before while eating. I was chewing right, it was just I was chewing after a long time. I ate a lot of Kiwi those days which is popularly called the super food. It helped me a lot during the recovery phase.

All my hospital days and all my recovery phase I would hear the same words again and again from many different people. GB Syndrome has no medicine, the only medicine is you. You can be treated by your will power only. For my question of when will I be alright, they would say depends on you. Be strong and get your will power strong. I had a strong will power. I knew I will make it very fast but still when your body is recovering by itself, it does so very slowly. Very very slowly. But the good thing in this is, you cannot miss the progress. Even the slightest of progress can be felt because it has been days as you were like this but now look, you can speak this letter correctly. I can say will power can be the powerhouse of your dreams and recovery from anything physically or mentally. You just need to channelise it in correct way.

After three days of my coming home, my sister called two physiotherapists so that I can be improved at a faster rate and nothing is missed in my recovery. The first physiotherapist came at my home soon after we called him. He was a fat but tall man with very short hair and wore very loose shirt. He resembled the famous Bermudian guy who caught the catch while playing against India. He knew I had acquired GB Syndrome as my sister told him on the phone and he had done his homework. He held my hand and asked me to apply force in the opposite direction.  He did the same with my legs. He said, there is no limb movement and facial movements are also very less. It will take him about two years if not sent to therapy and facial movements won't improve at home. His facial movements might remain like this only if he is not sent to therapy. Believe me my facial movements were not at all normal. My one eyelid was drooped. I could not raise my eyebrows and move my lips. He was very pessimistic. Everything he said was to discourage me. He will be like this for more than an year is the sentence that exited from his mouth, entered my ears but never exited from there. My family got infuriated by his attitude. I declined to visit other physiotherapists as I had my cut of discouragement of for this year.

Eating and exercising were the only two jobs I had. The physiotherapist in the hospital had advised me a few exercises. There were about 6 or 7 of them but the most difficult one was raising my hand in front of me. It was really difficult. I mean really. Raising my hand to 90 degrees took me almost four days with a huge amount of pain every time and holding them there at that position was simply out of the question. You can put your hand straight and reach out to pick up anything lying on that coffee table. I could not. It was very hard for me to straighten my hand. It took me almost one month just to pick up something which is at a hand's reach from me. Every exercise was painful. After 15 days of my discharge, I had an epiphany. I thought about the exercises I am doing. Are they good enough? Will they make me what I was before? Why did nothing hurt when I was normal in my entire life? I thought, my daily routine and all the work I did daily constitutes the working of every muscle. Each and everyone. This is the only reason why all my muscles were fit because it has been active every day. I had been doing these exercise for 15 days now but everything hurts in the same way with the same intensity as it did on the first day. This made me realize that these exercises are not enough. These won't take me anywhere near where I want to be as fast as I can. I decided to stop these exercises and I knew it was a big move. A very big risk. But I did. I decided that night that from the next day onwards I will do everything that I did when I was alright. I will bathe in the same way. I will watch television. I will sit in all the rooms. I won't lie down on one bed and think that three time exercise is enough for me. I will do everything in a normal way.

The next day I woke up and started walking to another room. I picked up something from the coffee table out of my reach which really hurt a lot. Everything was hurting, but I knew this is the only way to be what I was in the short time. Bathing was the most hurtful activity of the day. It would take me 40-60 minutes for bathing. But in the end, I can proudly say, everything worked out like a charm. I was progressing at a very high rate. On 15th September, 2017 the day came when my doctor said, "Now you can eat normally". Any precautions? "No" Can I eat fast food and all that? "Yes, yes nothing to worry, just don't eat too much at once." It was hard to express and is still now how you feel when your hear that you can eat anything as it is from your mouth after two months. The first thing I ate was Dhokla. It was kind of my long desire.  I was still not adjusted to chewing, but it worked out perfect. My Trapezius muscle was too weak. My muscles were not able to take the load of my hands. Whenever I used to stand, all my shoulder part would hurt. I was not able to walk a distance because of my muscles. They were all too weak and it takes really long time for everything to be what you were. It doesn't happen in a blink of an eye. But this was nothing, I could see every muscle improving. I could feel it. I used to walk on the road with that pain in my muscles. But I knew I am improving. Each and every night I would sleep by saying the sentence, "Yesterday was good, today was better, tomorrow will be best". Everyone was busy with their lives while I was busy making myself, myself. But if you remember, I am still seeing everything double and the case of my eyes will make this post far longer. My eyes tricked me in the process and it was horrific. It would be very unfair not to talk about my eyes in this road to recovery. So I will. Stay Tuned!!

Comments

Popular Posts

A Broken Dream - Chandrayaan 2

I remember the day when Chandrayaan 2 was set to launch. My friend had left for Sri Harikota to watch it live in front of his eyes. It was a big event. Bigger than Chandrayaan 1. I was watching it live too. But, 56 minutes before the launch, ISRO decided to postpone the mission due to some technical glitch. Chandrayaan 2 was finally launched on 22 July 2019. I watched a lot of videos and read a lot about the mission. Its history, mechanics, trajectory, almost everything I could find. It was a big event for India and certainly a big event for the world. It is not that easy to reach the moon. I mean, you can just figure it out by seeing that only three countries have been there. India could have been the fourth.





Every time something Chandrayaan 2 did, it got reflected in the foreign media. Look, India's lunar mission Chandrayaan 2 has entered Earth's orbit. Look, India's lunar mission Chandrayaan 2 has exited the orbit. Look, India's developed Chandrayaan 2 has entered …

A Letter To Your Mother

Thanks for this beautiful gift you gave this world. "Thank You", seems like a smaller word. But wait, will this gift think like you do? Or is it independent enough? You must not have thought this. Actually, I have seen enough. I have heard enough. I am tired of this. Are you a parent? Or a child? I don't really care as of now. But, you should. You should go back and think about your actions. You should think about your thinking. Are we moving towards the age of robots or you already have given birth to one? I am confused.



Everywhere I see, every time I hear, the same whining and the same useless thoughts make me think about the existence of yours in this world.  You must have thought you are a great parent, a great mom perhaps. But, does someone else thinks the same? Is she proud of you in the same way as you are proud of her? No, she will think. Yes, she will say. "Nobody thinks of me", is the perfect solution and resolution to hundreds of problems you have i…

The Divided States Of India

As I landed in the city of Bangalore, a man is shouting just outside the airport. He is shouting something that I do not understand. Fortunately, he has learned 4 5 English words. After all, he is standing outside the airport. “Where,” he asks. “Marathahalli” I spoke. “Bus 8”. He says one word and starts shouting again. He was a bus driver. But most importantly, a resident of Karnataka state in India. Yes, this place is in my country and we both cannot communicate.




Many years back when I was in the eighth standard, my textbooks proudly and boldly highlighted the words, “India is a diverse country”. They would show the culture and folk dances of each state. Unique on its own. A moment to feel proud. You can never find a country as diverse as India, as culturally rich as India. That was just the textbook. My practical started almost 2 months ago.
Soon when I reached my hotel I realized nobody in the hotel knows Hindi. Yes, Hindi. A language spoken in India. A language which is not only…

The Untold Story Of A Few Good Men - Kheerganga || Part 1

This blog post is about a few good men I met on the way to the peak of Kheerganga and I will come later on it. Don't presume from the name Kheerganga that I am going to recite you the beauty of the nature that I saw and how white snow embellished the high peak mountains. Well, as I said in my earlier post I would like to share my experience. The natural experience is experienced by everyone. I decided to write this post because of something else to which I will come a little later. This post is about a story which resides in the humble heart of these few men whom I met in Kheerganga. My Kheerganga story perhaps.


Kheerganga is a beautiful place which is in the hilly ranges of Himachal Pradesh. I went from my hometown Haridwar to Bhuntar by boarding a normal bus. The driver was old and I thought he might take some extra time to reach the destination i.e. Bhuntar. But no!! I was wrong. The way he drove the bus on the hills is inexpressible. He was driving at a speed on which many o…

FUTURE OF MY LANGUAGE

Earlier last year I went to Mumbai for an internship. People in Mumbai are of mixed culture. A heavy number among them is local people who speak local language i.e. Marathi. I also encountered the same situation everyday where I would find many people talking in Marathi in my office. Mumbai being an alive city will preserve its language for a long time to come. But this is not the case for every region.




I once had a chat with an old man sitting outside his house and thrashing the wheat. It was a nice morning in the month of July at a hilly area Karnaprayag. He was sitting on the ground and lived just 10 meters away from where I stayed. I used to see him everyday on the same chair while going to office. He was consistent. So was I. It was Sunday and my day off from office when I went outside the guest house into the sun. I used to live alone in that 3 BHK guesthouse and I used to feel alone sometimes. This loneliness lifted my feet in the direction of that man. I went to that man pret…

A Day Before Long Nights - The Start || Part 1

I took my empty bag, I took my jacket, dressed in college uniform I started my ride. I was going to my college to give my final semester presentation for the project I had done in LTI, Mumbai. I was happy about the fact that after today, there will be no exams, no attendance and my college life would be over. I had my days planned. Since I had been on the flight from Mumbai to Delhi to come home, I had planned all my days. I wanted to learn driving at a driving school. I wanted to learn swimming. I wanted to go to the gym. I wanted to go on at least three trips in one month. I had all planned but I guess life had other plans for me.


      I gave my presentation to a four judge panel out of which three were ladies. They were chit chatting and I don't remember any of them listening to me after I told them the company and brief of the project. My presentation was over as soon as they told me "Thank You". It was a moment of epiphany. My college was over with that sentence. I …

A DAY BEFORE LONG NIGHTS - THE LANDING || PART 10

As I mentioned earlier, I was seeing double from the first day till now. My eyes did not improve even a little for many days. Everything I used to see was double. Two doors, two mobile phones, two coffee cups everything. The doctor said my pupils are not moving synchronously as they should and hence you are seeing two images of everything. The images are seen separately by both the eyes but our brain combines it as one, while in your case it is still two images. But, you will be fine with time. With time. This is a very vague sentence. There is no specific maximum limit nor there is any medicine. You will see normally with time. Hence, I waited for "the time".

Two days after I came home after being discharged, I picked up my father's phone, opened chrome browser and typed, GB Syndrome patients case studies. I wanted to know how much time? How everyone else have managed and how much time they took. I needed to know. I needed to be prepared at least. I read three case stu…

Mumbai Life

Mumbai as you know, is the financial capital of India with big buildings and sky touching hotels and apartments. But as I know, Mumbai is really more than that. I arrived by August Kranti Rajdhani from New Delhi to Mumbai transitioning from 0 degrees to almost 25 degrees. I had 2 sweaters in my hand and an internship offer letter in my bag which I had to show in LTI (previously L&T Infotech). First of all I was kind of looted at the railway station by the cab driver. Well, let's not say looted but I was charged like uber after finalising lesser amount before getting into the cab. On the way I got to know that so called kaali peeli taxi and the ola-uber taxi have become arch rivals on this land. Well, still I believe that you should not get into those cabs and prefer ola-uber only. They really try to play smart and think they can earn more from Non-Maharashtrian,

      Next day, I had to go to my office from the famous local train. I had never seen so much crowd at one p…

CONUNDRUM OF DUSSEHRA

A smile on his face, tied to the ropes, 10 heads and considered one of the most intelligent man, Ravana is standing in front of me. He is about to die. He is about to be "killed" actually by a man who was exiled, saving his wife and one of the greatest leaders in mythological history who led millions to the other country for this event.
For those of you outside the boundaries of India, Dussehra is a festival celebrated in India.

Coming back, I am standing with hundreds others. They are celebrating, eating street food and enjoying with their family and friends. It has been like this for the past hundreds of years. It has been like this for the past 23 years of my life. But today, I am alone looking at him and his brothers and wondering a small thing. Why are we celebrating this festival? Every festival has a meaning, a lesson which is moral and some reason to be happy and celebrate. You must be having your own festivals with all these characteristics. But what about Dussehra…

THE UNTOLD STORY OF A FEW GOOD MEN - KHEERGANGA || PART 3

Vishnu poured four cups and the owner asked me, "Do you want some?" I asked, "What is it?". "Oh! this is our favourite alcoholic drink prepared by jaggery in our homes. We can't go so far into the town just to bring a bottle. Our forefathers have derived a way to make it in home. Our mothers and wives prepare it." Although I would not have accepted the drink, but it sounded exciting and I knew I might never get to taste it again in my life. So I happily agreed. It tasted just like jaggery dissolved in some bitter liquid. I drank very very slowly intentionally so that they can enjoy their last day with whatever they had without involving me. I asked him, "So what are your plans for the future after this?". "Plans? Huh! This was not even a plan that is happening with us. We are in pain." Vishnu said, "Brother, this is something we never wanted. This is our living and they are snatching it from us" "They who?" I a…
Managed and maintained by Harish Rajora