Can you hear the sound of my breath? I am panting. Why? I am walking on a stone-paved trek that goes to Kedarnath Dham. It is not an easy trek, especially when you have weight on you. The cold wind seems to help a lot, but I have a trick. I do not see in the front. I always look down towards the road. This way, I don't know how steep the climb is in front of me. It helps more than you think. The person you see with me, I have named him Saarthi, because he tries to show me the path. I do not need his help. I have climbed up and down this trek more than 5000 times in the past 7 years. I know you are amazed to know my stamina, but everyone says that I am born for this. I am born to bear the weight of humans on a steep trek to the God whose one of the names is "Caretaker of Animals". I am a mule. An innocent and young mule. Everybody says that I am lucky I don't have to fight for survival every day in the jungles. I do not feel so. Saarthi keeps me company, and I love this beautiful world as much as all of you who live here. As for the trek, it is surely beautiful. But now, after 5000 times carrying weights as much as 100 kg sometimes, each trip seems last for me.
I was born in the home of Saarthi to parents I do not remember now. I never played with them. I licked them in the night when they would come tired and torn by doing the same thing that I have been doing for so many years now. Generations over generations, we have been doing the same thing. But when I look at it, Saarthi's generations over generations have been doing the same thing as well. His parents worked with my grandparents, and so on. In a way, I guess he is a mule as well. But a lucky one, as he doesn't need to carry weights that break my back every day. You will be surprised to know, but my back isn't made to carry weight naturally. I mean, why would it be? We did not evolve to carry humans to the treks. My parents' backs got bent when they got older, but Saarthi doesn't seem to care. Saarthi is always there with me, but we do not have a bond. I know why he gives me the food, and I know why he is always beside me during the trek.
I do not differentiate between a good man and a bad man. All the men I have met are the same. Some, like Saarthi, beat me until I do what they want me to do. Some jump over my back to do what they want me to do. I guess all humans are like that jsut their method of violence is different. I often struggle with heavy weights and sometimes fall down on the trek. Saarthi whips me on the back until I stand up and get going again. I can stand up with the words of love as well. But he doesn't understand love, I guess. In the night, he often whips his wife and his daughter. I feel the pain of that, but this is how Saarthi is. Everyone is a mule in his eyes, and he is their master.
I am not that old, though. But I am not as strong as I used to be in my younger days. I get scared when I see men with their bellies touching their feet. They pray to Kedarnath Baba without doing any hard work to reach the temple. But I, who does all the work, don't pray much. Not because I don't have a wish. But all the temples here have gods that look exactly like humans. I believe they are meant only for them and not the animals. So, I keep myself to my work. I do meet mules on the way who pray regularly to be relieved of this life. I do not know who they pray to, though.
Today is not the same as every other day. Since morning, I have not been feeling good. My back hurts, and my legs are shaking. I think I am not well, but this seems like a different type of disease. Not the usual one, which goes away in a couple of days. I try to hint this to Saarthi, but he doesn't understand. We don't speak the same language, but I don't understand why it is alright to take a leave when he is sick, but we have to go when I, who has to do all the work, am not feeling good. He whips me as I resist standing up. He whips me again and again, until I stand up with my shaking legs, thinking about the long hours and heavy path ahead of me.
My first customer is an obese man, maybe more than 100 kilos. I imagine him wearing hundreds of red sacred threads, as my friends (mules that pass by on the trek) often suggest. "They all wear red threads", they would say. In my mind, I am already lost. I don't think I can take him up, or even half the way. I feel too sick, and while this life has been hell since I was born, today, it feels like my last day. Slowly, slowly, I push myself up, getting whipped more than usual. The obese man above me kicks me too. I remember my dying parents who lived in this hell until they died. This is the life I never would want to force on anyone. My friends say that we are born for this, but I don't believe them. Nobody is born to carry other species. I often think about how my parents lived such a long life with this work. I surrendered to the man, Saarthi, and everyone. On a steep slope, I tilt towards my right so the man can jump and then lied down. I surrendered. You can whip me as much as you want, but I won't get up now. My time on this planet is over, and I pray not to be born as a mule again.
Saarthi whips me as I slowly close my eyes and remember my parents. I hear their voice, and they are calling me to join them. I do not feel the pain of the whips while Saarthi continuously keeps doing what he always thinks is right. Suddenly, I feel a touch on my head. A human touch, but not the way I have always been touched. This is calm, slow, and comforting. I hear a girl shouting, "Are you crazy?"
Saarthi says, "It is my mule, he has to go to the top."
"Can't you see, he will die like this," she says.
"Let him die then. He eats so much, and when it's time for work, he acts like this."
"Okay. Wait. I will show you today," said the girl angrily.
I do not understand human language, so I don't get what is happening.
The lady says, "Is this the police station? Please come to this spot. I have to file a complaint on animal cruelty."
"What are you doing?" Saarthi says.
"I will put you in jail. You wait."
"What have I done wrong? This is my mule, I own him."
The lady puts her hand again on me and says, "Can you come to this spot? I need to carry a mule to the hospital."
Suddenly, I hear a slap. The hardest I ever heard. "Take him to the police station", the lady says.
I assume it was the police who slapped Saarthi. If that's so, I am very happy. In this moment when I am about to die, I am happy that the last moments of my life were joyful. Something I never imagined but always wanted to happen.
I lie down in unbearable pain when I feel people picking me up and putting a cloth underneath. Inside, I feel I am dead. A few seconds pass, and I do not feel the pain. It's like everything is shutting down inside me. I keep my eyes closed. Slowly, my heartbeat goes down, and I know I am about to die. I wish to never be born a mule again, remember the faces of my parents, and pass out.
I don't know how much time passed after which I gained consciousness. All my mule friends told me that life after this is the most beautiful life I can imagine. I never trusted them. I see these humans exploiting me to visit their God just to erase their evil deeds and be born as a human again in the next life to do the exact things over again. But my friends trusted this process, and it helped them climb the trek multiple times every day. When I opened my eyes, a lady said, "He is awake! He is awake!" She was too excited, just like Saarthi would get when someone accepted me as their vehicle. "It certainly takes some time and energy to go to heaven," I said to myself. A man much older than Saarthi and everyone around brought a large, blue, half-cut drum in which freshly cut grass is spread with carrots. Another man comes with a bucket of water. I cannot believe that the concept of heaven and hell was right! My friends were right! So the life you first live is hell, and the life after death is heaven! I am amazed and can't wait to tell them that they were right!
I turn around, and I see 4 other mules enjoying the sun in the open. No mule is tied, and surprisingly, no mule is running away! I always thought they tied us so we don't run away somewhere. I look around and search for my mother and father. I do not see them, at least for now. When I am done with eating and drinking sweet water, a man comes with a water pipe and shampoo to give me a bath. I had never taken a bath like this. Saarthi would just visit a shallow river and pour a few mugs on me so that the customers don't smell anything. I don't see any customers here. In the evening, they take me to other mules to befriend them, which we all did quickly. I asked them, "Is it heaven?" and they said, "Yes! It's the life post-death!
"What did you do in your life? And how did you die?" I asked.
"I carried people around the village", said the first mule. "I broke my leg, but still had to continue to carry people on three legs for 5 days. A bus hit me as I was disbalanced, and I died."
"I carried bricks, sand, and other construction material for a man. I died on a sunny afternoon after not gettingfood and water for 2 days," said the second.
"I was left in a faraway city by my owner when I got old, so that I couldn't return. I died by electrocution on a transformer pole while I was eating grass around it," said the third.
"I kicked my owner and was shot dead in his compound as he got angry," said the fourth.
"You?"
I got nervous. They had lived a far more difficult life than I. How can I say that I just fainted, surrendered, and carried people on a trek? "I carried people on the trek and was fed up with my life. I jumped into the valley and died", I lied to make my story on par with theirs.
"Can we commit suicide? I thought that's a human thing!" said one of the mules.
"Yeah, yeah! Sure, we can," I wanted to continue building up lies when the same lady came and hugged me. I had never been hugged in my life. She caressed my hair and scratched my cheeks. I cried.
"Nothing will happen to you know. You are safe," she whispered in my ear. I don't understand human language. Maybe she wants me to do something. I lick her face with the hope that this is what she wanted. She smiled, and every other human laughed. I was relieved.
"Come, let me show you around," she said and tied a very loose rope around my neck.
I wandered around heaven. It was beautiful. Grapes! Carrots! Raddish! My mouth waters. There is green grass everywhere! In the next part, I see one more mule who is lying down, and a needle is inserted into his right leg, connected to a transparent bottle. "Maybe something to get us from life to heaven", I said to myself. The third part has human quarters. They are exactly like where Saarthi used to live, but still, these quarters seem happier. "This is where I live," the lady said to me while taking me to the final part. "This is the last part of our small sanctuary," she said. I licked her, thinking she wanted me to lick. She smiles again like before. This is where I see a gate. I did not know heaven had gates. "What's beyond that?" I asked in excitement, forgetting that she won't understand. She laughed at this. I thought this was where heaven ends, and hell starts. I promised myself never to cross this gate. Maybe I will ask other mules if they know anything. The gate has a big board attached to it whose size is equal to the size of the gate. It reads:
"Happy Sanctuary - NGO"
The line under it with the smaller font reads:
"Helping mules live a respected life and save them from exploitation."
I do not understand the meaning of it. I come back to the section where I ate the food. She takes out the rope. Hugs me again and whispers in my ear, "Hope we give you the happiness you deserve."
I lick her.
She smiles.
Everybody laughs.
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